Friends for 23 years and counting....
I just can't believe how much I've changed. I've spent the last six years (almost exactly) terrified. Terrified of my future. I weighed every possibility, formulated back up plans, and lived in fear waiting for my fate to play out.
In the meantime, other magic was happening in my life and I didn't even realize it. Once I found out that I was BRCA1+, I formulated a life plan that purposefully ended after my surgeries. That's when I would be free to make choices, to live my life. Never did I consider that life would happen in the meantime. Of course I realized not everything would work out according to my wishes, although it did. Exactly as I planned them. I never considered time passing and me changing and my world changing, but that's what happened.
I find it so obvious now. Ridiculous really that all of this started during Step Two. This was my plan (pretty simplistic really):
Step One: Get married
Step Two: Have children (preferably two, but one would be a blessing)
Step Three: Maintain a job (with medical insurance) throughout the steps
Step Four: Undergo prophylactic surgery before the age of 35
Step Five: LIVE!
Friends pick us up when we fall down, and if they can't pick us up, they lie down and listen for a while. - Unknown
Jason and I were married on May 24, 2008. It was a wonderful ceremony in Negril, Jamaica and I wouldn't change a thing about the wedding or my husband.
After a miscarriage following our wedding, I found out that I was pregnant during the Super Bowl in 2009. Go Steelers! What a crazy emotional day. Five weeks early, on September 3, 2009, William was born and we were blessed with our first adorable miracle.
Somewhere between the Super Bowl and September, my best friend from 6th grade, Sarah, and I reconnected. We lost touch in high school and, well, you know how relationships go. Excited about my pregnancy, I noticed that Sarah was also pregnant. Being curious (and nosy), I couldn't help but to snoop around her Facebook page to find out if it was her first child, too. It was! And get this - we had the EXACT same due date. How does that happen?
We chatted through Facebook, both amazed at the coincidence, but nothing much happened. Then Sarah decided that these two boys who shared a due date have to meet and have to be friends, which made total sense to me. I wish that I could say that it was like no time passed, but we were both very different people than we were in high school. It took a three hour kid-free lunch to really reconnect.
Admittedly, Sarah kept the relationship going. She always invited and welcomed me to any outing or party. It wasn't until 2011, though, that I would call us close friends again. We spent our days at work chatting through our computers and generally entertaining each other. I think that's when we got the bright idea to get pregnant at the same time again.
There are still two different stories and accusations, but let's just say, this time our due dates were five weeks apart. We spent our pregnancy together. It became a tradition to spend her birthday together and we did again that year, both in our third trimesters. It was an amazing bonding experience and I would recommend it to anyone.
Sarah welcomed her second son in September and I welcomed my second son, Collin, on October 10, 2011. Of course Sarah was watching William while I was laboring. We spent our late nights nursing texting each other and keeping each other company when we knew that no one else would be awake. Now each of our children have life long friends. Our boys are getting older and they enjoy each others' birthday parties, Christmas together, and general play dates.
Before I knew it, my plan was nearing completion and it was 2013. I asked Sarah to visit me in the hospital solely because she was so much closer than the rest of my friends and family and I knew that I would like to see a friendly face every day. Little did I know that Jason would be there every single day (and even twice a day on a couple of occasions), but regardless, Sarah took her job as visitor very seriously. She would arrive right after I woke in the morning (super early for her) and would stay until I was sound asleep at night. She was my rock, my advocate, my support. I don't think that I could ever have made it through without her.
Now, even as I am home recovering, she finds a sitter for her boys and spends one (sometimes two) day a week at my house doing our laundry. Of course, a lot of the day is spent talking, working on projects together, and watching Downton Abbey, but she still gets all of our laundry done. She was there when I was hooked up to numerous machines and could barely move from my bed to a chair. Now she's here helping with my heavy lifting as I walk effortlessly. She has been there and seen more than anyone else. These are my favorite day of the week and I get excited for them each and every week.
I had no idea that an ancient friendship, identical due date, and four sweet little boys could bring someone so wonderful in my life. Thank you for being the best friend that anyone could ever want. I'm cherishing this time together as I know it won't last forever.
I love you, Sarah. I'll never be able to express the gratitude for everything that you have done for me. I hope that you know how much I appreciate you.
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