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Writer's pictureMollie West

Day 1 - January 17th

THE BIG DAY



Now that I'm over a week out of surgery, I feel well enough to update on the process. I've been writing these posts, although I haven't been posting them, so please excuse any grammar or spelling errors or generally bad writing, as I was still on my pain medication as I wrote them.


My surgery was scheduled for 7am, so that meant that we had to leave home at 4am. The morning was surreal for me. I went through the motions of washing with the special soap, wearing elastic waist pants and a zip up hoodie, and brought my ID and insurance card as instructed. I was exhausted due to the stress and pretty much no sleep the night before, so during the ride I was actually looking forward to the anesthesia. Jason and I picked up my dad and we were on our way.

Incredible change happens in your life when you decide to take control of what you do have power over instead of craving control over what you don't. - Unknown

We valeted the car and asked the front desk where to go. The first stop was quick. I checked in, paid a portion of my deductible, signed my consent, and we were ushered to the next waiting area. I remember that during that walk the hospital staff kept showing Dad and Jason all of the places to eat and kept apologizing to me. I wasn’t the least bit hungry and couldn’t imagine eating at that moment. We waited for what seemed like forever at the next area. I didn’t have to do anything there but sit and wait. Jason rubbed my back and all of us fidgeted. I don’t know how long we were there, but if I were to guess I would say 20 or so minutes. They finally came to get us and took us into a room with lots of different curtained rooms. They originally told me that I could only have one person with me and I planned to make a case for myself that I only had two, but no one said anything and I was happy that Dad and Jason were with me the entire time. They had me urinate in a cup for one last pregnancy test and then took me into one of the curtained rooms and had me change into the strangest hospital gown ever. It had a thick plastic layer closest to my skin and it was paper on the outside. I’ve never minded hospital gowns, they are always pretty comfy to me, and I didn’t really mind this one either. Once I was gowned, Jason and Dad were ushered into the little curtain room with me and I felt good having my support again. The nurse tried to put in an IV and was having difficulty with my veins. I have to give the staff credit, she didn’t try numerous times and instead tried different methods to get my veins to open wider. She told me that it was from dehydration. That’s my first advice to any woman having this or any surgery. Pump yourself full of water at least a couple of days before surgery, if only for the easy IV insertion. Rookie mistake. My oncologist stopped by and took a look at my chest and initialed each breast. His initials are still there as I write this. I told him to get every last bit and he assured me that was his goal. After that I pretty much had no distractions, Dad and I had cracked all of the jokes that we could think of, so I just laid there. I couldn’t help it, I started crying. Not the sobbing, hysterical crying, but the kind that the tears flow down your face and you can’t stop them no matter what you do. Jason noticed and started rubbing my hair and Dad stepped out to give us some time. Not long after that they said that it was time to go to OR prep (still without an IV) and time to say good bye. I told Jason and Dad that I loved them, gave them both hugs and kisses, and off I went. They walked with me until the elevators and then I was alone. As I was wheeled through the hospital, the nurse warned me that the OR would be freezing and I couldn’t help thinking how jealous Sarah would be at that moment because it was so Grey’s Anatomy-esque. I was wheeled into a rather large room. The nurse covered me in warm blankets and it felt so good. I met with the anesthesiologist and she was full of personality. It was much needed at that moment since she was a wonderful distraction while they finally got an IV placed. I really enjoyed her demeanor and she put me at ease. Next the reconstructive surgeon came and marked me up pretty significantly. I had marks from my throat to my hip and he assured me that he wasn’t going to cut at the marks, some of them were just measuring points. I asked him if he was ready and excited and he said that he was. Now the anesthesiologist was back to give me my first round of goodness and I was welcoming it. She called it “orange” and told me that I would like it. After she injected it they immediately wheeled me into the OR which was about 10 feet away. She asked me if I was feeling it yet. I wasn’t. By the time that they opened the door and wheeled me in, I told her that I was feeling it. Instant relaxation. They wheeled me beside another table and told me to move from the bed to the table. I did and I couldn’t help but be amazed by the amount of people in the room. I had no idea how they could even move around. It was packed. I heard my oncologist ask if there were certain things in the room and that is the last thing that I remember. My surgery actually began at about 8am. The mastectomy portion lasted until 9:30am. The reconstruction lasted until about 6pm. Since I was out and had no idea what was happening, here is the text message exchange during the surgery. 9:25am Jason - Mollie is finished with the first leg of the procedures. Doc said everything went very well...plastic surgeon is next. Claudia - Great to hear! Thanks. Kate - Wow! Wonderful!! Sarah - Great! Praying for a speedy day!! 1:14pm Jason - Just received an update - everything is going well. Claudia - :) Kate - <3 Sarah - Thanks for the updates...trying not to worry...how are you holding up??? Carrie - Yay! 4:18pm Kate - Still in progress? Jason - Everything is still going well and as planned. They anticipate being done before 8pm. Kate - K thanks Sarah - Yay!!!!!! Carrie - Yay, that’s awesome! 5:18pm Jason - Great news, the surgeon is just finishing up and he is pleased with everything. There were no complications and she should be in her room by 8. Kate - Ah good... Big sigh here Claudia - Yay! Kate - Lol and a few tears of joy. Claudia - That’s for sure! Sarah - Agreed!! Whew! Carrie - Yay! So happy she is doing well. Annie - I’m glad everything went well! 5:30pm Jason - You are probably going through post-op right now. I am very proud of your bravery and I think this is the first time that I’ve had tears of joy. I love you. J Now back to what I remember! I woke up in post op with quite a few people around me. I don’t know who/what was in the room. All I could focus on was a clock right above me. I was at 6pm exactly. I started asking for Jason. Of course they couldn’t figure out what I was saying and I finally heard someone say, “I think she wants her husband”. I don’t know why that calmed me, if it was just that finally someone understood or if I thought they were actually going to get him, but it did and I don’t remember much after that. My oncologist assured Jason that my breast tissue looked normal, but they would still test it. My reconstruction surgeon told me that he made them a little bigger than I requested, but that they look better on my frame. He also said that I had “lollipop” incisions - circles around where the nipples were located and a straight line down from there. He also said that there isn’t a single thing that he would change about my surgery and that it went perfectly. Those are the things that I remember. I honestly couldn’t tell you where I was when I had this conversation. I felt no pain that night. I don’t remember getting to my room or really much after the 6pm wake up. I must have been on some good drugs. I know that I sent some texts, made a couple of phone calls, and that Jason stayed with me. If anyone else was there I don’t remember it. I was cathed and had a morphine pump, so I didn’t have to move and that was fine with me. The only issue was that I felt severely dry. My lips were cracked and a mess and my mouth was so dry I could hardly stand it. I wasn’t allowed to drink anything in case my flaps failed and they needed to rush me back into surgery. They gave me some swabs with water and a nurse, Paula, slipped me a few ice chips and I swear I was about to write her into my will for that. I went to sleep happy. My first day was short. I know that it wasn’t for my friends and family. I think that all of us were equally emotional, though. I woke up to this on my white dry erase board:



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